Well, I have just been debating whether I should write about
this or not. Writing about race or even
talking about can leave one with more enemies than friends. A bit of an exaggeration but I guess you know
what I mean! As you can see, I thought I ought to. It is important that we talk
about it. Avoiding talking about something does not make it go away. People are so sensitive now that even when
you are not talking about race if they suspect you are, they become so defensive
or angry and if you are unlucky, will not be receiving a Christmas card from
them. What is it about the subject that
makes people’s antennae go up?
Recently in a conversation with my white friend, he happens
to refer me as African. I was saying how cold I felt and he said ‘You Africans
are always the same when it comes to the weather, either it is too hot or too
cold for you. I have a problem with this guy at work, always putting the
radiator high’. This was not said in an affectionate way let me add before some
of you jump on to say I should understand the humour of the country! I tried to
ignore the heating issue because I am one of those people who would rather
hibernate in winter if it were possible, just to avoid the cold. However, the
generalization though. My response to him was that I preferred Zimbabwean than
this generalisation. I also pointed out that ‘we are not all the same’. No
country or even household has similar people even in the UK, never mind the African
continent. Unfortunately, in his mind, I was accusing him of something. He went
on this defensive mode, which was in itself interesting but sad at the same
time. At first, I thought he was joking because of how serious he became. I
thought to myself what are you saying indirectly. I decided to explain myself
in what I thought would bring his anger down. Remember I was not and am not
talking about black versus white here. I explained that just as everybody else
I am entitled to how I wanted to be identified as. Moreover, I hear most people loudly saying
they are ‘Irish, Welsh, and Scottish etc. Even some British people prefer to
identify as English. So why would Zimbabwean be so wrong? In addition, not many British people go around
calling them European on a day-to-day basis. Some even go further by referring to
themselves as Cornish, Yorkshire etc. Why then was it an issue simply to want my
identity to be of my choice?
What then did it for me was what came out next? ‘Do you realise there might be less racism in
the world than you think?’ OMG! I could not believe what I was hearing. I
thought at what point the dreaded big ‘R’was mentioned. This was getting
ridiculous. A conversation about identity preference being highjacked by the
fear of being seen as racist- what has the world gone to? What can we say - let
me say I, without being accused of using the race card? It is hard when one is
made to feel he/she is out to get people. Sometimes it makes it so
uncomfortable that even when you hear real racist comments you are not keen to
say anything about it - perpetuating it in the process. Race or racism I find
is one of those things people would do their best to deny even when it is
glaringly obvious. I have heard so many times the statement ‘I didn’t mean it
like that’. Well, how else did you mean it, mister, when you describe me as a
‘coloured’ or as an ‘international ethnic’?
Back on identity, I really wanted my friend to know that it
is not about playing the victim game here but understanding that I am also
entitled to my identity without the race being an issue. Of course, I am
British too but I am constantly reminded of my identity when I am asked, ‘Where
are you really from, or is this really your hair – meaning I am associated with
a certain country and a certain look. So then, why when I want to identify with
a specific country am I accused of saying people are racist? Double
Standards! It is pretty much a matter of
who is offended- but part of me thinks if you think like that, are not you
hiding something as well. In my language, we have a saying ‘Kuvhunduka chati
kwata hunge uine katurike’. In English when I translate it somewhat mean if you
are edgy about something, it could be a sign that you are hiding your true
colours! Zimbabweans are you out there- is that right? I realised that my
language -Shona is not on google translate- I wonder if the African language is, for the sake of whoever speaks it because I don’t!
I know what you are thinking. There is nothing wrong with
being called an African- but asserting I am accusing people of racism just
because I say I identify as Zimbabwean first before anything else is pathetic.
We do not far by controlling others. We need to respect each other’s views and
wishes without being offended or offending. The rant I witnessed from my friend
on this issue left me really wondering- who knows what is best for me? What is it that makes people so defensive
when there is a hint even indirectly of this type of -ism? Racism has long changed its manifestation in society; hardly
do we hear the N-word shouted in the street. Nevertheless, to assert that we live in a post-racial Britain is misleading- living in Cloud cuckoo land. We all know, including those who moan about
political correctness gone wrong in Britain that we still have a long way to go
when it comes to race and other -isms.
Why do people get mad at you when you refuse to be boxed? Have you ever noticed
that? You cannot be what they are not- you cannot be different without being
called a name. If you speak for
yourself- ‘she is aggressive’ or she is a feminist blah blah…
It is as if you do not fit neatly in some people’s
packaging; from how you look to how you think, etc – you are different and
therefore have to have a name. Where will difference
go or live, what will difference say
without being labelled?
These are my experiences so no point calling me anti-this or the other because that won't change anything
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