Thursday 27 July 2023

Sexism in the workplace and yes it exists


A boss with an attitude problem can hamper your career and poison your whole existence. Here are ten signs your boss might be such.

Bosses are just people, and will all have their own stresses and shortcomings. But it’s not what the boss does once in six months – it’s what they do every day that counts.
A management style is often a reflection of someone’s view of the world, of themselves, and of things such as gender roles. When you have a boss whose attitude is at its core sexist, your life can become a misery.
A happy and fulfilled and well-balanced boss is unlikely to be a sexist tyrant at work. But a bitter one with an axe to grind against women will carry this into the workplace, sometimes so subtly that it is difficult to pinpoint.
These days there is a far greater awareness of the consequences of sexual harassment in the workplace than even a decade ago. That doesn’t mean it never happens, but a sexual predator in the workplace is less likely to get away with it now than in the past. Women are also more aware of their rights.
But there are the bosses (both men and women) with personality disorders, who see the workplace as a terrain to wield terror, and give free expression to their whims. And they think the women (and sometimes also the men who work under them) deserve it.
On paper, men and women doing the same job are supposed to be paid the same, but in practice this does not always happen.

 Here are  some 10 things sexist bosses are likely to do.

Make overt reference to gender in the interview.
Comments such as “You know I am not allowed to ask about your plans for the future”, which can usually be interpreted as follows: “Are you going to have a baby anytime soon, and go off on maternity leave?” The more unsubtle ones will comment directly on your appearance, age and usually disguised in the form of a compliment. Believe me; I experienced this once upon a time.

Assume women are looking for stop-gap employment.
Sexist bosses will assume the women are not the main breadwinners, and are unlikely to stay long in the job, let alone make a career of it. The underlying assumption is that there is some man who will be looking after them now and in the future. Really?

Fail to really consider women for promotion.
This is the main one but sadly both female and managers are culprits. They might be on the list, but they seldom seem to get the job. It is easy to spot companies where this happens – just look at their management structures, and how the genders are represented. On paper, men and women doing the same job are supposed to be paid the same, but in practice this does not always happen. Job titles can also disguise the reality of someone’s level of responsibility.

Assume the women will do the catering and the social organising.
Unless it is part of your job description, you do not have to organise catering at staff functions, or clean up afterwards, or make things such as birthday parties or farewell parties happen if you don’t want. A sexist boss won’t even ask – he will just assume the women will do it. And he probably won’t thank them either.

Exclude women from certain workplace conversations.
Like some men, some women won’t be interested in discussing politics, sport or management strategies, but automatically excluding all women from conversations on these topics is very sexist. It is seldom done overtly, but often there is a subtle vibe of “Keep away – men talking” sent out. Sometimes this exclusion extends to other social activities organised after working hours, like going to the bar or the golf course - or, even worse, the strip club.

A sexist boss subtly creates the vibe that the real decision-making is men’s work.

Assume appearance is everything.

Most men have cottoned onto the fact that overt comments on appearance are a no-no, but even on going compliments can sometimes be creepy. Underlying all of this is the assumption that women’s appearance is somehow more important than men’s is. If you aren’t sure whether you are overreacting, ask yourself whether the boss would have made a similar comment to George in Sales about his new jacket.
Fail to take input from women seriously in meetings.
A sexist boss would pretend to listen, but would seldom take any of these suggestions seriously, let alone implement them. Until one of the men makes the suggestion, that is. A sexist boss subtly creates the vibe that the real decision-making is men’s work. ‘’Well done George for saying that’’, Really, when Mary had made the point initially!

Assume a lack of knowledge on technical matters.
Whether it is on issues relating to IT, or mechanics, knowledge or ignorance cannot be assumed based on gender. But a sexist boss will do just that without establishing people’s prior knowledge on certain things.

Complain when women take family responsibility leave.
This usually comes from a boss who would not in a million years dream of taking a day off work to take a sick child to the doctor, but expects his wife to miss a day from her job in similar circumstances. Life happens – when working with people, sick children and dying relatives will be part of the equation. One cannot blame women for being in the position of carrying the brunt of the responsibility for these family issues.

Imply that a grievance is somehow hormone related.
If a woman finally snaps at work, a sexist boss will assume she is premenstrual or menopausal – her grievance cannot surely be real. Granted, sometimes hormones can affect both men and women, but even so, justifiable grievances can never be dismissed just for that reason.

I know what you are thinking right now, sometimes both men and women bosses do undermine the well- being of their employees but these things happen on daily basis in organisations.

 

How can we talk about something we are not comfortable to talk about

 Just doing a bit of whining, I know I shouldn't but I will anyway. I have been off a bit due to some illness. However when I can came back I realised that every person is doing or consulting on Equality and diversity.  Good right?  Yeah, but the problem I still see is we havent got any further than we could if really we were all working for the same cause. Every organisation wants to be seen to have a EDI strategy and are doing their best but the truth be told is it is mostly PR.

People are still uncomfortable to talk about racist incidents or racism in general. 

We still need to talk about it and other identities too. However it seems  we can all do better than how we are doing now since we are all on board.


Just saying.

Wednesday 19 July 2023

Spaces in the workplace

 Imagine turning up to a meeting, and the first thing you hear is “who gave you permission to be in this room?”  “Who asked you to sit on the table?” “Who gave you the job?” How does one react to these questions? The issue of space in the workplace is an interesting one because as bodies, we occupy spaces wherever we are. The question of who is allowed in and who gives permission to occupy these spaces is one that fascinates. In workplaces, in particular people from different backgrounds occupy and sometimes share spaces. Still, the fact that people might be working together does not always mean integration or acceptance of each other. For black bodies it is difficult to fit in and for the most part because of what's said to us in these spaces. I experienced this first hand and its as if one doesn't exist and this is painful and in no way can it lead a successful diversity programme.

I was treated like an outsider by the university I worked. What made it more painful is the fact that when I reported to the Head of equality, I was ignored

The issue of space(s) is one that is not talked about, and like other forms of oppression, one that people skirt around until they are affected. I was such a person. Naively because I had always been in spaces where I felt at ease- my home country. Space is in a constant of transition as a result of ‘continuous , dialectical struggles of power and resistance among and between the diversity of landscape provides, users and mediators .

We need to think spaces and what happens in them as we work on our equality and diversity initiatives.

Tuesday 28 April 2020

My Racism, Your Racism?: The new face of racism



I felt the need to whinge after seeing all these audios of Africans in China being racially discriminated during the pandemic.  What I will be saying below are my thoughts based on these videos and speaking to a few people.

From social media platforms and main news outlet, it led me to believe there was a rise in racism across the developed world before Covid -19 reached Europe.  Many were horrified by the insults hurled on Chinese students in the UK. These racial harassment incidents took place even in communities. Chinese restaurants were set on fire with people losing their jobs because of their nationality in some countries. That was and is terrible.  Then the Italians because that became the Covid -19 epicentre before anywhere else in Europe. Gradually, people realised that it was a world pandemic with no boundaries based on skin colour or borders. Once people start seeing this group or that as being the reason for a virus where would the line be drawn? I said to a friend of mine we will come out this pandemic either realising we are all equal or worst-case scenario discriminating other groups further. He said what do you think will happen and my answer was, of course, more inequality. By the way, I do believe we will be fighting more discrimination after this pandemic. I was not celebrating that Chinese student’s people were facing racial harassment because I meet that every day and I know how it feels. I am not watering down the experiences of these people, Italian or Chinese who initially faced this COVID wave of racism. What I am saying racism is racism, whether on a white black or brown person and should be treated as such. Once we start separating it as white, black, brown racism, then we face the danger of creating further divisions. Racism has no face. If we look at it from the pandemic lets, call it for what it has been about rather than give it colour.
 Then, fast forward April 2020, while talking to another Diversity and inclusion practitioner, he told me he had been asked to write about racism on the Chinese communities during the pandemic. I quickly asked him, racial attacks in general or only on the Chinese people? Interestingly, he didn’t know about the plight of Africans in China.  Racism is racism, whether you are African or Chinese, right?

African Students were chucked out of their accommodation, not allowed hospital treatment, and some ended up begging their governments to take them home. These Africans were being targeted based on their skin colour. I know because it was not on BBC news many never saw this side of CovID-19. As far as I remember, it was reported as an allegation and was, of course, being denied. The Chinese government has been supportive of African students through scholarships, and about 80 thousand or thereabouts across the continent are studying in China. It is human nature (as observed from my decades of being on planet earth) that when we don’t understand something or scared, we look for a scape got and sometimes even our friends or neighbours can become such. However, thanks to African channels, Al Jazeera and social media channels like WhatsApp, we were able to connect with family and friends in some provinces in China were these (discriminatory behaviours) were taking place.
Some people may think racism is about a chip on the shoulder by those that are always talking racism, but for me, it is the abuse of power by those privileged to have it. People who still find joy in never accepting accountability and responsibility but doing everything it takes to pass on the blame on the powerless ones.
Just because the racial harassment of Africans did not happen on the European continent, it does not mean it didn’t happen. In the post-pandemic fight of racism, let us remember the Africans in China. Let us not forget the effects of racism on individuals are similar. They do not respect the colour of a person.

Right now, in America and the UK, there are more black and brown people on the frontline who are dying. Yes, the reasons for that are not known yet. However, I pray to God that it won’t be another layer of stigma on people already grouped as a minority.

As always these are my thoughts, observation and a bit of reading.

Wednesday 15 January 2020

Of leaders who are not leaders: My thoughts

Have you ever received an email from a senior member in your workplace and realise that despite the attempt to mask it, the senior member was nasty to you? Also, you know that they think by sticking ‘have a good day’ at the bottom of the email, they think you are stupid and will not notice it. These types of leaders exist in our day-to-day lives. It could be at work or anywhere but know for sure that you are in trouble when you have such. They like to remind you that they are your leader and emphasize how important they are to the organization as if you are not. A very simple definition of an organisation says it is about people coming together for one purpose, business or whatever. Having said that, yes, there will be hierarchies for this organization to function well but it does not mean that those below a certain grade in the structure should be treated with disrespect.

What is leadership anyway? I will go for a simple definition. I am not writing an academic paper here.

Leadership is a process of social influence, which maximizes the efforts of others towards the achievement of a goal (Kevin Kruse). I find this definition simple and it encompasses what I want to say. It is not about saying to people ‘look I am intelligent, cleverer than you, the big man or woman of the company and there is you this little nothing member of the organisation’). Trust me some leaders exude these traits. In my 13 years of living in the UK, I have come face to face with leaders like these. It is as if they cannot help it. You rather want to say ‘we know you are, who are, do not rub it in my face’. However, why should it be like that? There is no need. How can one expect to influence the people they are belittling or mocking? It doesn’t work.

I remember a friend many years ago whose Senior Lead used to waltz in her subordinates’ office and moans about how she doesn’t understand why people get to the next day with no money. As far as she was concerned such people could only be stupid. My friend was like ‘wow’. There was a woman with money who didn’t know what it meant to be on a lower wage and struggling to make ends meet. She would do this every week on her way from lunch shopping. What sort of motivation would you get from that type of person?
I think if you are a leader, it doesn’t qualify you to use that privilege to bully and belittle subordinates.

Great leaders find the balance between business foresight, performance, and character. They have vision, courage, integrity, humility and focus along with the ability to plan strategically and catalyse cooperation amongst their team. They do not walk around puffing their chests to show that they run the show.
Please be Kind.

Sunday 12 January 2020

Which one of the protected characteristics is the most important: really? My reflections


I always like to write about issues most troubling me but I don’t always get the chance.  Trust me, managing work and other responsibilities can most definitely take one’s time.  On top of that, there is tiredness especially a week after the Christmas break. I just felt coming back to my special place where I can write about stuff that might be difficult to get the right audience in real life. Disclaimer: These are my views, experiences and observations and if they do not fit neatly in yours, then you can always read quietly, be polite in disagreeing with me or just do not bother reading.

So, here are the  areas of equality and diversity issues that I have been struggling with and meant to write about all along, black people who think because they happen to have made it to the top positions in organizations – all of a sudden, they are superior to the rest of the black people in the world. I am talking about black people in particular because I happen to be black and I am writing about this because I have come across these people and also heard from the people, I speak to about how annoying these people are. They are annoying mostly because they make others feel as if their lack of progression is a sign they are not as hardworking as them, they fit and you who doesn’t progress, you do not fit or are not trustworthy enough to get where they are. Anyway, maybe you are reading this and you are one of those people and you are thinking maybe I am jealousy – the answer is no, I am not.

Let me explain. In most cases, these people, before their promotion, they complain and moan about everything; the lack of opportunities to progress in the organisation, they mourn about the inequalities, they moan about everything and they still mourn until just before they get a promotion.  All of a sudden, they tell you, they do not see, have never experienced all the things they once mourned about, and all those complaining would just need to work hard and will just be fine. In fact, they make you feel like you are one of those black people always playing the race card. They make you feel like you are lazy. They do not even want to talk to you. When they see you walking towards them, they change the direction of where they are going. In meetings, they always have to disagree with you even when it’s obvious you are making a good point. It is as if you make them uncomfortable. At any events to do with equality, diversity and inclusion, they take the back seat or they do not show up.

I honestly do not understand. All I can think of is maybe they want to please so much that they do not remember how life was before becoming this new person. Anyway, food for thought! I rest my case.
I am not saying equality and diversity is a responsibility of one group of people, I am not saying it’s a black, white, brown and yellow issue but my beef is with those who change the narrative depending on where they are.
While I am at it let me talk about another issue:  people who are so passionate about their little box of inequality, they are the only ones suffering inequality because they are female, LGBT+, etc but they don’t believe there are problems as regards other protected characteristics like race for example.  They argue that because they have black or BME friends they think there is no racism in the UK. What I can only say is, its not a matter of comparing apples and mangoes when it comes to equality issues, and we can’t put on a scale all the types of inequalities and try and measure the most serious one. That would not work. Inequality in any form or shape is bad and let us not try to score points by suggesting that being black is better than being disabled or being gay is worse than ….. Discrimination sucks whichever type. There is no way we can know what it means to be a black person, a gay man, a disabled person etc unless we are that, so what gives us the right to compare them all and decide that being this is better than being that?

All I am saying is let’s treat people with dignity and respect not by their bodily or socially constructed characteristics!

Wednesday 25 December 2019

Of gender and race

Hello, I am back. Its been a while since I have blogged.

I am going to talk about race and gender. I won't go about it in an academic way but just in general. In fact, I will use my experiences, so before you get ready to attack me,  let me remind you these are my experiences.

I talk a lot to people about equality issues, but sometimes what I hear makes me wonder whether some people realise what being different means. I have come across strong women who can do anything to find gender inequality. They jump on anything that has a whiff of sexism or come close to it, but when it comes to race,  they seem to lose interest.

So, I was having a drink with a group of friends talking about some of the things we have experience as women. Similarly, our experiences had ranged from being whistled at by a group of men to sexism at work. Our stories which I will not discuss here were harrowing. What I haven't said yet is I was with my white friends. So, I felt it was equally important to let these lovely ladies of the additional burden I face as a black woman. However, it was clear they were not interested in putting themselves in my shoes. They initially listened but the more harrowing my experience of carrying that extra burden, the more they seemed not to understand. It was more like 'Oh  I am sure people do not go out of their way to be racist'  and 'Oh they didn't mean it like that!'

Honestly, if a touch on your bum is sexual harassment, why on earth would you think being called an angry black woman , lazy and got an attitude as a black woman because I have voiced my opinion is OK? Isn't it a form of being made to police my self thereby losing my voice? And, honestly, it resonates with a lot of things for me as a black woman - colonialism etc.

Remember I am not trying to water down people's experiences but we have to remember other than both mangoes and apples being fruits - the comparison doesn't go far. We shouldn't be allowing ourselves to think one inequality is better because if we are for social just our focus should be how to end it not comparing who is hurting most.

We need to think intersectionality!