Female
genital mutilation makes a permanent mark on the victims, physically, mentally,
sexually and psychologically. In most cases (Type 1 and 11 as well as
infibulations) the girls are taken away to be mutilated without knowing. The
practice, done in secrecy does not leave any of the victims free to talk to
others. All they are told is, “This is what a woman has to endure. You have to
do this because every woman does it’’. Victims are given no choice but swear to
secrecy before and after the procedure. In my case I only got to hear people
talk about female circumcision in high school. It was clear that female genital
mutilation and talking about it was going to cause grief. A few girls had not
gone through the procedure and the rest had. Those who had not done the
procedure felt as if they had destroyed their lives and chances of getting
married. It seemed as if they would be feeling ostracised for the rest of their
lives since not having gone through circumcision was regarded as a failure and
would result in the girls not securing a husband. It has to be remembered that
in many African communities marriage is one of the most important things in a
woman’s life. Failure to secure a husband has always been considered to bring
shame to families. For the girls there is pressure is every where- from the family,
society and friends. The pressure and trauma resulting from this led to some of
the girls loosing their self esteem. There were divisions as those who had had
the procedure felt like the heroines. This was just a pressure uncalled for and
made some girls stay away from normal day to day activities. Shame and being
made to feel inferior also affected some of the girls. Being one of those girls
I was not sure I had done the right thing. I had ignored my grandmother‘s call
for me to pull my clitoris.
The
point I am making is that sometimes in communities and households, the pressure
to do what everyone else is doing can be huge. People get scared of being
shunned and would always want to be part of a group.
However
with FGM it should not be so. FGM is child and women abuse and should not be
seen as a social identification. It is a shame that some older women in some
parts of Africa have had to be infibulated
well into adulthood because an aunt or mother in law felt it was wrong not to have
done it.
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