Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Marriage of Convinience or Love?

Welcome Back.

After promising myself that I would want to blog everyday after work I thought I might today look at this interesting topic on love and marriage. I am not an expert but from my experiences and those of others I have learnt quite a lot. Marriage of convinience or love,that is the question?

When I first came to the UK, as a student I did some part time work when I was not at University. One day as I sat at work with a cup of tea during my break I had a scuffle behind me. I was quick to my feet only to see two of my workmates fighting. I moved away as I did n't want to be part of the scuffle but near wnough to see what was happening as one does.
In their shouting and fighting I managed to pick what was going on. One of the girls was angry because she had been told she had married somebody for a chance to settle in the UK. The woman in question was angry because not only was she accused of marrying for convinience but she had also married a very old man.Not that age matter really if people are truly in love but it was the words ''marriage of convinience'' that broke her.She was obviously offended and whether this was true or not it was not the nicest thing to be told by anybody.

Back in Africa when I was growing up we were always told not to fall for men from certain parts of Africa as they were popular for marrying people for visas. It was when the country had its dollar power and people wanted to stay longer. It never occured to me that really people can marry for convinience. Convinience here does not only mean visas and a permanent stay in a country but anything that is benefitting the other person. I think people should  marry for love.

Marriages from time back have been known to stem from many factors ranging from love to money/dowry especially in some cultures. As a matter of fact in some of these culture one had to think of the future first before love- was the woman/man in question rich enough to provide for the family. There was no such thing as ,''well the newly weds can work together and accumulate stuff together''. One had to have the money if they were to find someone respectable to marry. In some cultures though( e.g Southern Africa and many other) marriages were for people who actually had fallen in love,informed their elders and bride price would be paid. Bride price was never really meant to enrich anybody but just a token of appreciation. Now it's more like a money making venture. I dont want to open a can of worms but things have been happening differently now especially for people living in abroad/diaspora. There is always talk of marrying for convinience. Have human beings become so desperate and selfish or is it a survival issue here? Some of you might know what I mean but some might not so I will explain. I don't intend to offend anybody but it has been known stastically that some people choose to marry certain people knowing they will benefit directly from the union either by getting visas and a stay in the country they want to settle or even for the money.

I don't know whether there is a difference in people 's behaviours once the union is influenced by benefitting somebody. The question is then what happens with true love? Would one chose rather to be married for convinience and be miserable for the rest of their life or for love?
In my experience I have seen such marriages not lasting for long but again I could be basing my argument on a culture that I know.

Needless to say in the UK,there has been reports by Immigration of marriages that were fake and only meant for benefitting those intending to stay permanently in the country.It's not only happening in Europe but all over the world and some parents have even been known to let off their daughter with money just for the convinience of the older generation.
It is a harsh world but surely love is love we all need ito be genuine.

Just food for thought!

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