The Policing of Black Women’s Bodies

 

Last Friday I was on the bus on my way home when I sat next to a lovely, lovely elderly white lady and we started chatting. We ended up talking about shoes- winter boots to be specific. She had bought two pairs and had actually changed into one of the pairs. They were very nice and I told her I always struggle with getting a perfect fit as my legs are a bit thin.

Quickly she said, ‘Oh black women have thin legs’. I was left speechless and froze. There are times when saying nothing helps but I am still laughing at the level of ignorance around.

Now I am sure you have all heard or are familiar with the phrases, ‘She doesn’t have a body like a normal black girl’, ‘why don’t you have a big bum?’ or even, ‘where is your bum?!’ These are just a few examples of typical everyday comments and questions that are casually thrown into the mix when addressing and policing what is perceived to be the average body of a black woman.

Now before I begin, I am in no way discrediting any one type of body, and this entire article hopes to shed light on the fact that the way we look does not articulate who we are in any way, shape or form. There is a common association with what I like to coin, ‘the African physique’, and the way many view that black women’s bodies should be built.

Like many things of African origin, favourable parts of this physique have been borrowed and merged into popular Western culture for the purposes of exploitation and reinvention. But before I draw off track, allow me to elaborate on what this has to do with the way that we police black women’s bodies.

In addition, with the integration of hip hop culture into popular culture, all of a sudden we are seeing the African physique along with its appraisal being thrust into the lime light, and hurled into our faces, and on to our screens at a thousand miles per hour , what with the Kim Kardashian etc!  All of a sudden the whole world has once again gone absolutely mad for women with large derrieres!

Now where does this leave my argument? Well being constantly bombarded with images in the media of what a certain type of black woman looks like, only propels the notion that there is a standardized look that all black women should aspire to measure up to. If we are viewing this from a purely biological standpoint, the African physique no longer encapsulates the frame of black women on a larger scale.

Considering the variation of the Diaspora, centuries of multi-culturalism, migration, slavery and colonization, the genetic make-up of black women’s bodies has changed. In other terms, the women that we perceive to be black women, are not necessarily restricted to women of African origin alone.

This does not mean that every woman of African origin automatically inherits this physique, but you can imagine how the scale of inheritance is ever fluctuating and complex. There has existed a long standing stereotype and association among the way that society views black women and the certain behavioural, or physical attributes that they should possess.

Get it.

What My Blackness Means To Others

As a black woman I’ve often found myself working very hard to not fit stereotypes imposed on me, which was difficult seeing as many stereotypes can fit any human of any race. For example, I can be loud- but only in social situations. I can be angry-but only if I’ve been upset or I’m passionate about something, I can be opinionated- because I don’t want to sit on the fence, but these things are only a part of who I am. People need to realize that black women offer a lot more than what other’s preconceived notions of them include, and we shouldn’t be defined by a caricature stereotype.
Many times I’ve met people and their comments suggest their opinions are based on stereotypes. I don’t recall every occasion, but there are definitely some standout moments.

 “You don’t seem like the type”

Many moons ago I went to a job interview for a role that required me to be upbeat and outgoing. It was an assessment day where they observed people’s personalities to see if they fit what they were looking for. One activity required us to stand up and state two truths and one lie about ourselves.

When it came to my turn I stated that I had spent a day with Nelson Mandela, I play the violin, and that I had two published books. I was the only black woman going for the job and the rest of the room was made up of white men and women. They decided the lie was that I played the violin; their reason for this was I “didn’t seem like the type”.

I translated that to mean, “you couldn’t possibly play a classical instrument because you are a black woman”, although, I wasn’t aware there was a particular type of person that played a musical instrument! I didn’t know whether I should be flattered or concerned that they thought it was more likely that I’d spent a day with Mandela. Black women can do the same as their white counterparts; race doesn’t limit people’s capabilities!

 “Teach me how to twerk”

Why do people assume all black women know how to twerk? And why do they think black women are their designated twerk coaches? I’ve had many people come up to me at parties and other social settings asking me if I can twerk and to teach them how to do it. Believe it or not, this is not how I like to spend my spare time, I do many other things-twerking isn’t even my preferred dance move!

 “Black girl attitude”

I wasn’t aware there was a label that described every single black woman’s personality, but apparently it is a universal description of a particular attitude. Unfortunately, I’ve heard this on more than one occasion. Although I realize it was used not to cause offense, I wondered why people felt comfortable to assume I understood exactly what they were describing.

I remember in some place I worked, my non-black friend, who was describing one of her other friends and stated she had “a typical black girl attitude,” and continued on with the story as if she perfectly explained what the girl was like.

When she finished the story I realized that a “black girl attitude” described someone who was self-absorbed, aggressive and obnoxious. While incorporating many negative stereotypes attached to black females, it fails to acknowledge other aspects of their personality. There was obviously more to the person she was talking about, however it wasn’t mentioned. I didn’t know what to make of the situation as it made me question what does she think about me? I’m assuming she didn’t think I had a “black girl attitude”. But I do, I’m a black woman, who has an attitude- just like everyone else!

These are only three examples of several incidences I’ve had throughout my life. I’ve been conscious of how I come across to others; there have been times where I thought to tone myself down due to fear of being labelled as obnoxious. I’ve made the effort to being cheery but not overbearing, serious but not miserable and forthright but not rude. I shouldn’t have to edit or censor myself because of negative stereotypes that are ingrained in people’s subconscious, but that’s the reality for many black women. Black women are considerate, intelligent and understanding; we are more than a person with a bad attitude who likes to twerk everywhere we go.

With all this said, my advice to you would be to educate these people and then ignore them! It’s easier said than done, but take a deep breath, find your patience and gently remind them you are more than they think you are. This isn’t something to be angered by, think of it as ignorance and assume if they truly understood the impact of the words they said then they would reconsider these exchanges. Unfortunately you will encounter this for the rest of your life, so the sooner you find a way of dealing with it the sooner you will find peace.

Remember the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue but that they are incomplete. They make one story the only story.The problem with a single story is that it robs people of dignity. It emphasises how we are different rather than similar.

Let’s Get Real About Representation

 

As progressive, modern and inclusive as we’d like to think today’s world is, we still have a far way to go. For one, television and mainstream media haven’t yet seemed to tire of playing heavily on the ‘white knight’ or ‘white saviour’ shtick nor have they tired of robbing black people of the positive on screen representation we so greatly need and deserve.

There appears to be no shortage of black visibility in movies and books when we are being cast in a negative light, but we are hard pressed to see faces like our own when it comes on to more positive matters or leadership positions . And this is not only alarming but also proves problematic.

Something is grossly wrong with continuing to enforce the rhetoric of the dirty, helpless, needy black child and the sweet saving white woman or man who rescues him or her. And unfortunately most philanthropic efforts play on this one rather heavily whether deliberately or incidentally as they may like to argue. I know of a BME sister who refused to even apply for a postdoctoral position in her Russell group University because of the demeaning and belittling images of BME people that she saw around when she was an undergraduate. Though movies and ads seem to favour this dynamic, the poor representation of black men and women doesn’t end there.

When our suffering isn’t being documented for grief porn like purposes, we are being made into the greatest recognizable symbol for poverty and saddening conditions or we’re being over-represented as jailbirds, thieves, druggies, drug dealers, dropouts or all around thugs and baddies.

All this further feeds into the denigrated view of black people everywhere – that we’re too uneducated, poor, or otherwise helpless as a whole, to attain success without the assistance of the descendants of our colonial slave masters, or that we are all somehow innately bad or predisposed to criminality and other reprehensible behaviours. Only today when I was in a public space, I heard people discussing about what’s going on Zimbabwe. Being Zimbabwean of course I listened only to hear them say, ‘’the people seem to be a decent lot and apparently educated’’. Really, why shouldn’t we?

Ultimately when black people are consistently portrayed in such a light, with white men and women always playing the hero and us alternating between playing the villain and the needy citizen, it’s no wonder we are not often viewed as equals, and are sometimes simply suffered as pity projects (if we are even believed to be worthy of pity).

For every black girl that’s relegated to the part of sidekick or a two dimensional character on a little black girl’s favourite TV show she gets the feeling that that’s where she belongs – on the side-lines. And for every movie where black boys only play the gun-wielding bad guys, our young men become further challenged to see themselves as more than rough and tough.

If one were to truly buy into what mainstream media is selling one would be lead to believe being black is a sentence of being uneducated, poor and a criminal. There’s also something icky about some creatives in mainstream media’s commitment to portraying black struggles – past and present – but unwillingness to boost positive visibility of black men and women in general. Think of this: if quality black actresses and actors can be found for every big slavery or post-slavery movie, or any jail scene, how come these actors can’t be sourced for other projects?

It doesn’t take much for any reasonable person to realize that not only are black people still being excluded from some narratives and being over-represented in others, but that picking and choosing who or what we can be in mainstream media is harmful to us as a community.

Representation is key – pivotal – even, and we know this. Representation remains a valuable tool in the hands of influencers where they may either choose to provide validation and to be honest in telling people’s stories or they may choose to do the opposite, even if it isn’t said in as many words.

While mainstream media should never be anyone’s only source of validation we can’t deny that in this day and age trends on Instagram, Twitter and prime time television are some of the world’s biggest influencers. Representation of black people has been poor and skewed for far too long, and clearly we can’t leave it to mainstream media to raise our next generation of black girls with a positive self-image, so it is up to us to be the representational change that we want to see.

We have to first recognize the realness and depth of anti-black sentiments, then we need to push ourselves to attain greater visibility, particularly with positive things. After all if you and I know we can be college graduates, lawyers, nurses, teachers, preachers, writers or whatever else it’s up to us to go out and be that, making sure that other sisters (and even brothers too) can see us.

 

When life gets you down as a black woman

 

When life gets you down as a black woman, you have an unspoken duty to be strong. Perseverance then becomes second nature and you automatically know not to break, especially in the company of others. My closest perspective of this stems from the women in my family; if they were hurting you would never know it. I had an aunt diagnosed with cancer and I didn’t even know how sick she was until she was gone.

I found myself looking at all of the women in my life and wondering how the hell they kept it together. My life’s ups and downs seemed to wear on my face like the makeup I glazed on each day when I start my day. I started to question my strengths as a black woman and whether or not I was cut from the same cloth as my counterparts.

Now, don’t mistake me for the black girl with a woe-is-me mentality.  There are times when I have shown my emotions and all I hear people saying of me is ‘overly sensitive, unprofessional’, ‘you are not in the right place’ only because I have just showed signs of being upset over something. In one workplace I was told ‘you are not cut out for this place, here we don’t do illness, migraine headaches, cancer or whatever is ailing you’’.

It’s almost unfair that we get to watch white women cry, be goofy, hell even indulge in a little self- pity with little to no one looking down on them for their humanity. In some cases they are even applauded for their bravery in the midst of adversity. From my experience, black women aren’t afforded that same luxury and I am here to shed light on an ongoing situation.

Girl, get out of your feelings!

In moments of disaster and uncertainty I’ve always been put back on track by a good “get out of your feelings” nudge. The quick-fix that places shame on the person whose emotions it’s being directed towards. Well, I say girl get in those feelings and express them. It’s OK to cry and to be emotional.

Analyse exactly what you are feeling and ask why. Get to the root of what it is that you are experiencing and then address it. Since when has stashing away emotions and acting like things don’t bother you ever helped a person overcome anything. It doesn’t! It actually has the opposite effect.

Strong women are strong enough to know when to let it out. If you are incapable of self- expression then how strong could you possibly be.

A black woman without restraint is unstoppable. If there were more room for us to be exactly who we are and respond in our own unique ways I wonder how much power we could attain. That reminds me of a black sister who tried to do an access to nursing course but the college was adamant she would not make it into nursing. Lo and behold, this woman was unstoppable, challenged all and now she is a registered nurse.

People’s expectations of black women when it comes to our self- expression are built like a prison, meant to keep us in check and aware of how we make others feel. Never let them box you into thinking that you have to bend your mood to fit what makes them comfortable. Pain is relative and no one can measure what you feel.

We are a rare group of women who encourage each other to say “forget it” and then genuinely be convicted in thought and action to move on. True warriors, fighting a seemingly never ending battle to be stronger than whoever to get through whatever life may bring. I admire our ability to overcome, but who knew that we could lift those expectations. Lately we have denied ourselves allowance to be human. We are black women, but we are human first, we are ever complex and we do have the right to be heard.

I believe, it is possible to be a black woman and go through life open and allowed to have feelings, good, bad, happy, or indifferent. Understanding that life will happen and when it does we can grow through it without the stigma of shame and the angry black women. It is all allowed and as long as we support one another in our journey for freedom then our song doesn’t have to be solemn and angry. It can be joyful and full of celebration because we are free in the mind and have peace within.

 

Microaggressions in the workplace we’re all sick of having to deal with.

Navigating the sometimes daily grind of office life is no easy feat. Between having to deal with work politics, constant (but not always necessary) meetings and petty colleagues, it’s hard not to feel like you’ve been dropped into a boxing ring armed with nothing but your wits.

 

And while we’re not discounting the fact that men also experience their fair share of grievances in the office, it’s much harder if you’re a woman.

 

I recently read an article in Bustle in which hepeating, a new term that describes the act in which an ignored idea pitched by a woman is praised and accepted when it’s repeated by a man, emerged.

The term hit home with a lot of women.

 

From mansplaining and being constantly interrupted, to comments about what we’re wearing and dealing with underhanded jibes about our qualifications, hepeating is just another notch on the list of workplace sexism and microaggressions women have to deal with on a constant basis.

And the biggest problem here is that no matter how overt or subtle it is, many of us feel that we can’t address the issue because society has always dictated that we act demurely as women whose demeanours should be rooted in being quiet and complacent – particularly in workplace environments.

 

In many cases, job security is on the line – particularly in toxic workplace environments that actively refuse to be inclusive in terms of equal opportunities and assigned roles.

Not only that when some women do speak up, they’re often gaslighted and made to question whether their experiences are actually real or valid, which makes this in itself an additional microaggression to deal with on top of everything else.

 

From invasive questions about when you’re planning to be a mother and how it will affect your job performance to being tone policed when expressing an opinion and then being asked if “it’s that time of the month”, these remarks and questions are designed to make us question our worth.

Unfortunately it can be even worse when you’re a person of colour. For example, when someone is “surprised” that you’re so eloquent and articulate. Or assuming that someone is the tea lady or cleaner when they are a Professor (Note, there is absolutely nothing wrong with these jobs, but there is something wrong when there is gender and racial bias attached to them). 

 

The problem with these little jibes is that they aren’t going to go away any time soon, but the more we address the issue the more we become aware of the fact and as such can call people out on their behaviour.

Here are a few examples,

 In response to people being surprised that you as a black person can speak “so well”, you should ask why they’re surprised.

Turn the tables on them by asking them what makes you so different that they’re surprised about your eloquence and take it a step further by questioning them about whether or not they speak any other languages fluently.

 

Another example,

 

For the never-satisfied manager who uses dismissive and condescending tactics towards you… Schedule an information-gathering meeting.

Beware of such managers, they like to manage in the grey and continuously move the goal line so that they never have to truly value your work. You must manage up and hold them to task by asking them to be specific.

Here’s what you might say,

 

“I’d like to understand from you what success looks like on your team. Can you give me specific examples of what I need to do to be successful and receive recognition?”

In this question, you are asking what it takes for you to be seen and no longer invisible in his or her eyes. If he or she beats around the bush, ask them to describe someone on the team they see as successful and ask them to explain exactly why that’s the case.

 

You might not think that things like this matter if it’s never happened to you but it does. It’s the difference between being happy at work and constantly feeling like you’re a placeholder whose well-being at work doesn’t matter.

Here are some experiences at workplace:

1. The worst example for me is when you try to resolve a problem etc. and you are told it is all in your head or you are imagining the problem (AKA gaslighting). You actually get blamed for saying your feelings or have some mental health explanation thrown at you.

 

2. Staring. For the most part, I dress in very bright colours. Because of this I am often scanned from top to bottom a comment ‘I wouldn’t wear that? Shockingly enough in this case I also experience discrimination from some of the women here who do this. I can't tell you how annoying it makes me feel. Why should it be an issue and what has it got to do with work?

 

3. Human interaction: Some people treat you like they treat everyone else, but others will turn their backs on you and or refuse to greet you when you greet them. Some if they do respond at all, they mumble and just when you think they are having a bad day, they laugh and chat with another team member!

 

4. Social interaction: Social functions at work are supposed to be events for people at work to mix and mingle. Nothing is more awkward when people purposefully push you aside or ignore you. Some will choose not to comment on whatever you are saying but when another colleague opens their mouth, they get excited.

 

The joys of the workplace!

 

What a piece of work man is. (William Shakespeare)

 

 

Sexualisation of Black Women and how it leads to other forms of oppression: A case for intersectionality

The fetishization of Black women in mainstream culture is no novel notion. Black women have been seen as sexual objects since slavery. In its most basic form, a fetish is defined as “something, such as a material object or a non-sexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification” or “An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.”. The objectification of Black women in regards to their body parts is just that—a fixation.     And it’s all too prevalent. From movies to videos, to photos on Instagram, it’s everywhere you turn. Question however is, do Black females empower the black community when they exploit fetishization of the hyper-sexualized black female body or is this exploitation objectifying and therefore devalues rather than of empower the black community.  Jezebel: “The woman who was a she-devil” was a term used to describe Black woman pre-slavery. The term itself has biblical roots; Jezebel was the wife of Israeli King Ahab and her actions exemplified lust. The ‘Jezebel’ Black Woman figure was stereotypically constructed through the initial European encounter with Africans. They associated their nakedness (which was due to the high temperature) to their lewdness and their polygamy practices to them not being able to control their libidos. Jezebel “the promiscuous female with an insatiable sexual appetite” came to represent the Black woman. Depicting Black women as erotically appealing and openly seductive was used to excuse White Slave owners abuse of their female slaves. The sexual myth of ‘jezebel’ serves as a tool for controlling Black women and throughout history the media exploited the Jezebel myth; using the Jezebel image to make racism and sexism appear somewhat natural. More recently, we still see the residual effects of this stereotype, as sexual promiscuity is imputed on most black women, even absent specific evidence of their individual sexual histories.

Where a “Jezebel” was what black women were defined as pre-slavery, “Mammy” was used to explain the sexualization of black women immediately after slavery. The History of Slavery served as the background for the “Mammy” figure. In slavery, female slaves were often tasked with domestic duties in White households; preparing meals, cleaning homes, and nursing/rearing their owners children.  A good portrayal of this was ‘The Help by Kathryn Stockett.’ These circumstances influenced the rise of the “Mammy.” Many black feminist, most notably Melissa Harris-Perry have argued that the “Mammy” figure was created through the imagination of White Supremacist thought who reimagined the powerless, coerced slave girls as comfortable consenting women. Like stated before, while originating in slavery the “Mammy” figure was rose to prominence in the reconstruction Era. Mammy’s were characterized as large black women with their hair tied up and no sex life nor family of their own. She lived to take care of her white ‘family’ as she was the premier house servant; “she could do anything better than everyone.” She was extremely devoted to her white chargers (children she was in charge of).  Everything about the Mammy demonstrated deference to White authority. With her idealized figure of a caregiver: amiable, loyal, maternal, non-threatening and obedient. As her being ‘asexual’ “devoid of any personal desires that might tempt her to sin” helped her serve as both a confidant and a moral guide to her young charges, capable of keeping them in line. Hattie McDaniel in the film ‘Gone with the Wind’ won an Oscar for playing this role that depicts a Black Woman as stupid and without feelings. The three principal black characters, Mammy, Prissy and Pork, don’t even have real names and were portrayed as simple-minded, complacent, even happy in their enslaved existence, and filled with love for their oppressor.

Believe me this is still happening. Recently a friend of mine was once stopped by a random man and asked to join his band as a dancer. When she asked why that was she was told because she was black and a good dancer. My friend was shocked because she never considered herself as ‘Beyonce’ when it comes to dancing. I was once told by some guy while at University that he loved black women because they look sexy?! I was shocked to hear this as surely love has no colour. The black woman has always appear in as a bad mum, single mother or just a bad person. And it carries on in the work place. You speak your mind and you are seen a trouble maker, as if people expect you to be an ‘idiot’- a’mammy’ who should just be happy to have a job. In the board room , one not to be taken seriously and always being seen as not having enough experience.

Even when it comes to pay a modern day ‘mammy’ should be happy to have a salary. A friend of mine went on leave due to a serious illness and she is of course black. The person covering her sickness was white and just for that time only management thought it fit to pay the white woman more pay than my black friend. You get my point. What was the reason for the pay disparity for somebody doing the same job?

So when looking at any policies in the workplace, communities any place, let’s not forget that a lot of inequalities are interlinked- race, gender, ability etc. After all, no one would take lightly their organization being led or having decisions made by a ‘mammy’.